Lean Green.

Found out today that my job might be next on the chopping block. Been mentally preparing for sometime now but still shocked.
Not receiving any comments or emails for advice so I ask again - what should a soon-to-be-father prepare for most?
If you had very little money to spend in preparation for the baby - what would you have spent it on?
When baby arrives - what's most important to allocate money for?

More. More. And more.

More arguing. Main topic seems to be the need to move from this small dwelling we currently reside in. Hard to leave so swiftly. Got some ideas. Need to explore all options. Last round of arguing hurt alot. Let the healing begin.

More genetics issues. Blood samples needed from both of us and my father. To test for extremely rare genetic disorder which has history in my family. The process and potential outcome are excruciating. The odds, however, are very much in our favor. Knock on the wood.

More ultrasound pictures. They'll be posted eventually. Comforting feeling - seeing Baby floating in the darkness. Hoping it's warm in there. Hoping the stress out here isn't felt in there as much.

Uncle's Letter.

An uncle sent me a hand written letter with this article:

Neil Steinberg - Chicago Sun-Times 1/11/2009

The toughest job you'll ever love

Imagine you are a novice mountain climber about to attempt Mt. Everest, the tallest mountain on Earth.

You mention your pending expedition to one old pro who has been to the summit three times.

"Oh that's great," he says. "The view from the top -- fantastic!"

You mention your trek to another veteran guide.

"Stop by the Khumbu Lodge in Namche -- they're famous for their ginkgo biloba tea."

A third climber replies: "Nicest people in the world, sherpas. Once they're your friend, you're friends for life."

Do you think this advice is missing something? Are these pros letting our novice mountaineer down by not mentioning, oh for instance, the brutal Himalayan cold, or the sudden storms and avalanches, or the peril of oxygen deprivation, or the will-sapping physical exhaustion?

Shouldn't someone bring that up?

That is my approach toward prospective parents. I dined with two acquaintances last week, each preparing to welcome a child in the coming months. I found myself giving each the same little speech.

I told them that while parenthood is the greatest thing in the world, and my big regret in life is not having more kids, being a parent is also very hard.

"I remember the second night Ross was home from the hospital," I told them. "I was sitting, holding this howling baby at 3 o'clock in the morning while my wife was weeping in the bathroom, and I looked down at this newborn and thought: Oh, right. This is why those teenage girls kill their kids. Now I understand. Because I'm 35, I have all the money I need, my wife and I desperately wanted this child, for years, and it's Day Two and I'm losing my mind. ..."

This isn't a terrible admission, I hope. Most parents experience that moment. It passes, thank goodness, and the general experience, as I said, is one of life's great joys.

But somebody should tell parents-to-be that it is also a grueling, exhausting, maddening challenge -- like an Everest climb -- so that they're prepared, so that when they find themselves at their wits' end, they'll know it is the difficulty of the challenge they are tackling, and not something particularly wrong with them.

I've had parents-to-be recoil at hearing this, and accuse me of being mean, of raining on their parade. But I'm doing them a favor. Aren't I?

A Big Fight About Everything.

Why are moments of anger, frustration, irateness and confusion always followed by a day of calmness, reflection, pondering and hope once again?

Had a bad week. Had a real bad evening last night. Hard to come up with thoughts for this blog. Still plan on continuing with it - but need a second wind.

Balancing Act.

Trying to decide what and what not to do these next few months . . . .
I was planning on taking some classes to continue my education, which I know is a good idea . . . .
But I also have a list of things I'd like to get done before 'Baby-time' - a type of 'closure list' if you will . . . .
Things that I can close the book on . . . .
As I will be opening a new book . . . .

Blue Jeans, Gene Blues.

The second I got out of work today - in dirty denim and a Carhartt jacket - I jumped in a cab and headed over to the hospital. My wife was waiting for me - we had an appointment with a geneticist. Used to be the law to get a blood test before marriage - still is in some states. But we were there to check for a rare genetic disorder that runs in my family. Turns out we may be more at risk than we first assumed. Really got us worrying. Went over to my folks house afterwards with some questions and to hash out the family history in more detail. We came away with full stomachs (Moms good cooking) and lots of reassurance. Still need to get some blood work done. But hopeful as usual.

The Truth Is.

So the reason I started this blog was to share my experience. So far people have been great. We let my folks and siblings know on Christmas Eve. We let her folks and siblings know on Christmas Day. First grandchild for either side of the family. Everyone's very positive and supporting as expected.
I haven't mentioned it to anyone at work yet. Reason is - I know there will be mostly snarky comments like:
1. Your life is over.
2. Say goodbye to your freetime/sleep/etc.
3. It's all downhill from here.

Terrible I know - but these are things I have heard before. I was just married a year ago and equally negative comments from coworkers. I work in an all male workplace. Realizing most of these comments are macho bullshit, I shrug it off. However, I do think some individuals believe these opinions.

So I want to know:
What unspoken life-changes should an expectant father mentally prepare for?
What behind-the-scenes happenings await?

Please, do tell - however scary, dramatic, stressful it might be.

First Ultrasound.

Went to doctors office. 1st ultrasound. The tech squeezed warmed up lube on my wife's belly then went to work searching to the baby. Found it quick. Due to size of baby the due-date changed from late July to Aug. 1st. Listened to heartbeat - 170 bpm - normal for this stage. Got first picture. Wild.